Straightforwardness - comfortably sharing different views

RocheMartin defines Emotional Intelligence by a set of 10 competencies and this is one in a series of blogs covering each one: Why develop Straightforwardness, what is it exactly and how can you develop it?

Why develop Straightforwardness?

...because

It means you are comfortable with the fact that everyone is different and can communicate your position calmly and clearly

Developing this competency is part of the group that determines how we interact with people so it's great for your relationships and therefore important for your home life, for leadership, for all your work relationships and for effective teamwork.

Having straightforwardness means

you know what you think, feel and believe and are able to express that in a calm, clear, open and authentic way, rather than
passively defaulting to what someone else thinks through fear of conflict or judgement or
being aggressive, trying to dominate or take control to prove you are right.
you are respectful and considerate of the other person's perspective, recognising that, just like you, they are likely to think that their idea, opinion or choice is the most logical.
you seek to get buy-in for your ideas, recognising that people are driven by what is important to them, rather than expecting them to be excited by what is important to you.
you can see different sides of an argument so 'conflict' is just an expression of different views for you and not something that needs to be avoided.
you recognise that not everyone communicates the same way as you do.
you are able to provide clear directions and expectations.
you are comfortable challenging others' views, giving clear feedback in a respectful way and saying no when you need to!

If you imagine being in a relationship or working with someone who demonstrates the opposite of those points, you'll quickly understand why straightforwardness is important!