Letting go of Anger and Hurt
I’m dealing with anger and hurt together because when it comes to other people, the trigger or cause of the emotion generally comes from the same source: someone else has said or done something that I don’t think is ‘right’.
Step 2 of my 5 step process for dealing with negative emotions is to ‘apply what you’ve learnt from doing the exercise before’.
When it comes to anger and hurt, my 8 core learnings generally do the trick for me and I'm including them here for easy reference:
Anger/Hurt gets in the way of logical clear thought, so let it go. Choose clear thinking instead.
Anger/Hurt doesn't prove anything. What do I need to accept, say or do instead?
I can't control and I'm not responsible for everyone and everything.
How am I also 'guilty' or responsible for what's happened?
The meaning of communication is the response you get. Misunderstanding is easy. Be flexible in how you communicate and make sure you understand.
Mind reading doesn't exist
You think you're right and so do I. What you think or do may seem weird or wrong to me, but I have to accept it's valid for you, given your perspective.
We're all imperfect human beings
How I apply the 8 core learnings and the process depends on the situation…
1. I’m feeling angry with or hurt by someone or someone is feeling angry with or hurt by me
a) someone who I have the opportunity to interact with now.
b) someone I don't have the opportunity to interact with now.