Coaching and therapy - how do they help generally?
If you've never had coaching or therapy before, it can be hard to get how they work or how they help with anything, so here's my take on them.
Both work on the same principle
For example
Optimists think everything will work out ok. They tend to be happy as a result and they are likely to keep going.
Pessimists think things will go wrong. They err on the side of feeling fear or gloom as a result and are more likely to give up.
Coaching
Helps you uncover how your current thinking is making you feel and behave. And then it helps you change your thinking so you can feel better and behave differently.
Rapid therapy techniques
Examine the past to find out how you came to think a certain way in the first place, unpicks that, and then installs a different way of thinking, so you can feel better and behave differently.
Neither involve telling or advising. Only listening, questioning and sharing knowledge and perspectives. Helping you to expand your thinking, figure out what needs to change, what you need to do, and providing the support you need to do that.
Coaching can help change the way you are thinking about things and how you are feeling.
It can help you figure out answers to some key questions, help you come up with different options and strategies and support you through taking action so you get to where you want to be.
Here are some of the common challenges you may be facing at the moment and some specific ways in which coaching can help.
Redundancy
Coaching can help you deal with the emotional fall out of redundancy
Hurt or anger at being made redundant
Anxiety about finding a new job or about the process of getting a new job
Feelings of loss and loss of confidence.
Coaching helps you prepare for and supports you during your job hunt (more details below).
You’ve decided you need a change
Lockdown gave us the chance to take a step back and take a different look at our lives. Maybe you’ve decided you want something different. Coaching can help you figure out what you really want to do and how to achieve that.
Early retirement
Redundancy may be your cue for early retirement, but what does that look like? Are you ready to do nothing? What do you want to achieve? What will your average week look like?
Recession is keeping you in a difficult job that you wanted to leave
Until you can find a new job, how can you enjoy the one you’ve got more, get a better work/life balance or address the issues you have at work?
Remote working and remote leading
Whilst working at home has brought some great benefits, it also comes with challenges. Particularly when coupled with the possibility of a sudden requirement for home schooling due to local lockdowns or changing quarantine rules.
How can you make remote working really work for you?
How do you
Continue to be productive and perform in your work,
Prevent feeling isolated,
Avoid working more hours than you should do,
Stay motivated,
Add the structure you need, and
Maintain physical and mental boundaries between work and home life?
Coaching for changes in your work situation
When it comes to the world of work / what you choose to do with your non-leisure time, there are some specific ways coaching can help.
Develop your self awareness and a plan!
What do you bring to your work? What knowledge, skills, behaviours and strengths?
What are your preferred ways of working and communicating? What impact does that have on what you do and how you do it?
What do you need? What’s important to you? What needs must be satisfied for you to be happy?
What do you really want? What can you learn from your past?
How does what you do for work need to fit in with all other aspects of your life?
What do you need to learn or change to get what you want?
What do you need to do? What’s your plan?
Provide Support through the process of discovery and action so you stay positive, stay focused and reach your outcomes.
With everyone feeling the pressure of change and uncertainty, peoples' reactions aren’t necessarily normal. We have physical restrictions that either keep us together, force us apart or impact how we relate to each other.
All providing the potential for relationships to become more difficult.
This can be true for any of our relationships:
Partner
Children
Parents
Boss
Customers
Stakeholders
Staff
Coaching for better relationships.
I have a very simple model that I use to help develop better relationship skills - SOAR
Self Awareness
Other Perspective
Attitude
Responsibility
Coaching around this model helps you develop new perspectives, more flexibility in how you communicate and opens up different options for addressing relationship issues.
The result is win-win relationships and an easier life as a result.
Events in the last few months have given us plenty to be sad, angry, anxious, frustrated or simply fed up about.
The pandemic has resulted in loss for us all. Loss of life as we knew it, loss of jobs, loss of things we used to love doing and sadly, much personal and human loss. And loss in itself causes a roller coaster of emotions as evidenced with any model of change (for example Kübler-Ross Change Curve™ and Bridges Transition Model)
On top of all that, the situation still continues to change regularly with no clear end in sight. Reacting to sudden changes in the rules is likely to be a feature that we’ll need to come to terms with for some time yet.
We’re going to need to develop and maintain lots of resilience to keep adapting and carrying on!
Coaching for loss and the mental 'corona-coaster'
Coaching gives you time to focus on just you. Providing a confidential safe space for you to
Talk things through and talk things out,
Let off steam with someone not connected to your situation,
Explore different perspectives and options to tackle negative emotions and difficult situations,
Find ways to increase your motivation, confidence, resilience, self care and combat feelings of overwhelm,
Regain perspective and balance.
Helping you feel better and find ways to keep moving forward.
How rapid therapy techniques help with our current common challenges
These techniques provide a quick and easy way to change long-held patterns and install better ones. They can be used for all sorts of things. The things that are particularly relevant right now?
Install self belief and optimism
Giving you confidence and a deep feeling of being enough. Opening up your mind to opportunities and focusing on positive outcomes. This will impact all areas of your life and develop your resilience to overcome future challenges.
Healthy habits and weight loss
Given the evidence, this will give you a better chance of avoiding the more serious symptoms of covid-19 should you get it.
More information
My website includes more information on rapid therapy techniques, coaching, things I can help with, and includes some coaching case studies.